The Desperation Theorem

Dennis York talks about a friend who's disappointed that Mariah Carey's career is once again gaining ground. Apparently he's upset because the more her career tanked the likelier it was she would appear in Playboy.

I'm relieved to know I'm not the only one anxiously awaiting the failure of any number of female celebrities' careers for this very reason. So strongly held is this belief that a celebrity's success is inversely proportionate to her appearing naked, I'm willing to bet a formula could be written to predict when in will happen.

((T*E) + (A*I))D=N

Where:

T = Talent (or lack thereof)
E = Self-esteem (or lack thereof)
A = Attractiveness.
I = Intelligence (or lack thereof)
D = Debt
N = Nudity

I have a call into MIT and NASA to help me refine this.