Everyone's Doing It!

So it seems to be the thing at this time of year to have some sort of "Top Ten" or "Ten Things" list. Always wanting to earn the respect and admiration of my peers, as well as gaining acceptance among the masses, I figured I'd do the same.

Ten Things That Should Have Happened In 2005 But Didn't
(in no particular order)

-The mother of a soldier killed in Iraq who supports the war attains the same level of prominence as Cindy Sheehan, culminating in a televised debate between the two.

-After a slow start, the Green Bay Packers end the season at 11 and 5. Brett Favre announces his retirement. Mike Sherman is let go the next day.

-Inspired by events in Iraq, Iranians rise up and overthrow the Ayatollah. The American military stands at the border watching, but otherwise not getting involved.

-Dan Rather is immediately dismissed from CBS following the discovery that forged documents were knowingly used in a story implicating President Bush of being AWOL from military service. This sends a strong message to all current and future journalists that no single man or woman, nor his or her reputation, is above journalistic integrity.

-A new law passes in Wisconsin requiring photo identification to vote. To insure against any potential disenfranchisement, free "Voter Identification Cards" -- for use only when voting -- can be attained at any DMV. Voters can also get the card, for a small fee, at stores such as Wal-Mart or K-Mart, much in the same way as fishing licenses are issued. People who already have a state issued photo ID (such as a driver's license) need not get a voter identification card.

-The age of reality television comes to an end following dismal ratings during the Fall sweeps. American Idol, Survivor and The Apprentice are all cancelled on the same day. Television executives rally to find someone, anyone, with enough talent to actually write a script and fill the void.

-Following a number of incidents unbecoming of an elected official, a grass-roots effort to recall Milwaukee Alderman Michael McGee, Jr. gains ground.

-The Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel prints an editorial claiming Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas deserves an asterisk because he doesn't represent the views of black America. Columnist Eugene Kane resigns in disgust, but not before having one last article published in which he asserts that not all blacks think the same. He is later hired as the managing editor of the Milwaukee Courier.

-The USS Des Moines finds a home on Milwaukee's lakefront as a naval museum.

-Someone finally has the courage to say enough is enough: John Mayer drifts away into obscurity.