Gregory Unveils Vest, Wiretapping Plan

Washington, D.C. - NBC Chief White House Correspondent David Greogory unveiled the latest addition to the veteran reporter's arsenal: a bulletproof vest.

During an early morning press conference, Gregory wore a prototype of an MSNBC-branded vest over his traditional suit and tie.

"Unlike our soldiers in Afghanistan and Iraq, I believe America's reporters need all the protection they can get when climbing into the trenches of White House reporting," said Gregory.

Gregory, who has reported for NBC since 1995, was inspired to don the vest after the recent hunting accident where Vice President Dick Cheney peppered hunting companion Harry Whittington with bird shot.

"I'm in the same building with this man on a near daily basis," claimed Gregory, "and it would be silly for me to pretend I'm safe without wearing a vest."

When asked by a fellow reporter if this was an over-reaction considering the amount of security already in the White House, Gregory responded, "I'll calm down when I feel like calming down."

During the conference, Gregory also revealed NBC's plans to begin wiretapping White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan. Also a direct result of the hunting accident and the perceived delay in releasing the information, Gregory asserted that it was the only way the public is able to find out about every single piece of information flowing through this administration.

"We need to hear the chatter. We need track their movements. If the President missed the toilet when peeing, Americans have a right to know. It's the only way to protect ourselves as citizens. Let's say Vice President Cheney puts metal in the microwave that causes a small breakroom fire. Do we want to wait for them to tell us about it? I, for one, am not comfortable with that."

In related news, the National Press Corps today announced their support for a nationwide conceal-carry law. "With armed men like Dick Cheney running around, it's important that every man, woman and child be able to defend themselves when necessary," they said in their statement.