Not So Cool to Be Italian Today

Can someone please email the date? Is it 2006, or 1906? I cant seem to remember. It's not because it's late and I've been drinking. It's because I just read this.

Apparently, in Italy, rape isn't that bad if you've had sex before:

Italy's highest court ruled Friday that a man who raped the 14-year-old daughter of his girlfriend can seek to have his sentenced reduced because the girl was sexually active, news reports said.

What disturbs me the most about this is that it's coming from Italy. I wouldn't be shocked if it were coming from Afghanistan or Turkey, but Italy? A 14 year old girl gets raped and they are seriously thinking about reducing the perpetrator's sentence?

This line of reasoning is wrong on so many levels it probably doesn't even behoove me to go into much detail. Obviously there's the point that having sex with one (or 20, or 200) men in a woman's past does not take away her right to say, "No," to a man in the present. Furthermore, there's the fact that if rape is wrong it is wrong regardless of the circumstances. But I don't think it's a logical argument the high court is trying to make.

Rather, they are making a statement. Girls and women who are sexually active will be punished, one way or another. This is a clear case of, "let's make an example out of her." It is a statement and a warning to the women of Italy: If you engage in sexual activity, we will not protect you when you need it. It is yet another form of an allegedly free society attempting to dictate the behavior of women...and it is wrong.

In 27 years of being a female, I've sat through class lectures, freshman orientations, read articles, been warned by friends and family alike, and been sent numerous email forwards on all the dangers of being female and on how not to get raped: Don't walk to your car alone. Don't take a drink that you didn't see poured. Don't park next to a van. Don't pull over for an unmarked police car in an unpopulated area. Don't pass out at a party. Don't dress too provocatively. Don't...Don't, don't, don't, don't....

It always got me to wondering, how many classes and books and emails and lectures do boys get on how not to rape?

Is that such a crazy thing to wonder?

I guess it really doesn't matter. Especially not in Italy. It doesn't even matter, apparently, that rape is wrong. It just matters that the girl has been "virtuous".

I can't wait for the day when any society finally decides that it's going to punish the rapists and not the victims. And I mean really punish the rapists.

And if you want to know why I'm so damn pissed about all this it's because nine of my friends have been raped. And you want to know what else? It's not because I know all the 1-in-4's. It's because rape is the reality in the female world because if you haven't been raped, then one of your friends has. Do the math.

And since it's not the women that are doing the raping, it must also be a reality in the male world. Now everyone call me a psycho femi-nazi for pointing out what must be an obvious fact. I'm not a femi-nazi. I'm just painfully aware of the world around me, and sometimes it's not so pretty.

But on that note, I'll just say, these things also get me to wondering: if I know nine women that have been raped, don't the odds pretty much guarantee that I would know at least someone who has raped?

I guess if I do, my advice is to move to Italy. You'll have better luck there in the chance you get caught.