Wisconsin DNR Calls for Gray Wolf Hunting

Faced with losing the gray wolf as the symbol of endangered species in Wisconsin, the Wisconsin Department of Natural Resources today issued a statement encouraging open hunting on the state's population.

"For over ten years the gray wolf in profile has served as a strong symbol to encourage support for preserving our state's wildlife," said the statement. But with the U.S. Interior Department's plans to remove the wolf from the list of endangered and threatened species, the symbol is seeming less and less appropriate.

After considering other species facing extinction, such as the gravel chub or Butler's garter snake, and realizing that neither image could generate the nearly half million dollars annually used to protect endangered plants and animals, the DNR opted to instead advocate for controlling the gray wolf population with two to three seasons of bow and shotgun hunting.

"I doubt anyone wants bait on their license plate," said an unnamed DNR source, referring to the gravel chub. "We only need to knock the [wolf] population down by a couple hundred to assure the plate retains its legitimacy. Even one good hunting season along with a couple dozen roadkills could get things back to normal."

Population growth is also threatening the bald eagle's coveted spot on the endangered animals list. Word has it the DNR already has a "tastes like chicken" campaign in the works.