You wouldn't like me when I'm angry

For a while now I've been considering pulling XOff off the blogroll. It's not that I don't think he has something valuable to say, it's just that sometimes the way he says it makes me angry. Like, pulling hair out angry. C'mon...Tom Tomorrow? You're better than that, Bill. And when Rowan and Kane substitute, well, I might as well enter a Homer Simpson look-alike contest.

Now I'm not a petty person. That, and I'm too lazy to to mess with my template. But if things keep going on and on like this, I'm going to start ruining a lot of shirts. Why? Because sometimes some things just make me angry, and I start to Hulk out.

So here's my solution. From now on, I will gauge my reactions to certain things on the following scale:

*****

PRE-HULK

Yeah, just me. By no means do I intend to use this every single time I post. Instead, expect to see it when I share something I consider thought provoking, like this post from dear old Elliot that kept me awake for three days straight. Or maybe I'll use it when I think the Cheddarsphere needs a good Casper fix. Y'know, I wasn't wearing pants when this picture was taken. Ladies? Ladies?

*****

OLD HULK
By '70s standards, this was about as tough as you could get while wearing cut-offs and being green. And it's about the way I feel when I read things from Folkbum's Rambles and Rants or that Melinda who's in favor of the smoking ban. Put sitting in front of Mandy Jenkins (who, by the way, did herself a huge career favor by speaking her mind) at the Blogger Summit in that category as well. I may disagree, but my anger pretty much amounts to me becoming muscle-bound and coating myself with body paint. I guess I'm saying it can be kinda fun.

*****

NEW HULK

Thousands of man-hours and countless gigabytes of computer processing are dedicated to just how angry I am now. Something like this will leave me raging and unable to form complete sentences. I stop using doors and simply walk through walls. Blogger being down will also probably get me here, so I hope their offices are in a deep, underground bunker. Not that that would save them or anything.

*****

HULK HOGAN

This is for when something upsets me, but I'm not sure why. The bans on gay marriage and abortion come to mind. I'm bothered by it, but I need someone to help me work through it. Or I'm just confused because something simply doesn't make sense. Mr. Christofferson, I'm looking in your direction. Basing your argument on the other person's poor grammar or misspellings will result in a handlebar mustached pensioner visiting your dreams. And maybe I'll just use it because what this world needs more of is Hulk Hogan.