Slap Me...

If I ever say anything remotely resembling this:

I remember the exact moment when I became a text messager. It was a couple of years ago, and I was running around doing a million things at once. In the middle of the chaos, my girlfriend McConnell called my cell phone in a panic. She needed something to wear to a wedding and she needed it tomorrow. She hated shopping but wanted to find something sexy because her ex-boyfriend was going to be at the wedding.